“Good Girl Conditioning”: 5 signs these beliefs keep you stuck

Good girl conditioning is a belief and thinking pattern that women adopt early in their upbringing of who they should be and how they should behave.

The spell of the 'good girl' – how it keeps you stuck and robs you of your potential

One of the greatest obstacles for a woman to fully step into her feminine power are the chains of the good girl complex.

During growing up we absorb a lot of information, and sensations and the body becomes conditioned. And we will do anything possible to get our needs met, to survive as a child. In our modern, patriarchal society, we are taught to be good girls, to obey, not voice our opinions – to shrink ourselves in every possible way. We are only good while we please and appease to those around us. As we grow up, we learn more about our adaptive nature.

Subconsciously, we start asking ourselves:

How do I need to adapt and behave in order to get my needs met?

And se we continue to grow we develop our identity, our way of relating and being.

The core belief of the good girl

The core belief of the good girl is:

I’m not good enough. I have to prove myself, over and over in order to be worthy of love and affection.

The good girl needs to seek permission and validation for every decision and choice she makes in her life. Once this belief becomes so deeply embedded in a woman’s consciousness, she finds herself trapped by the chains of the good girl conditioning. This programming is completely running her life. She becomes a people pleaser, trying to be likable and perfect herself somehow, holding back her authentic expression and not speaking her truth.

This is the biggest misconception that many women were fed during their upbringing, directing their life toward other people’s agenda and needs, while abandoning their own needs and desires. They wait for approval and someone to chose them, while that day when they feel enough never truly arrives.

But in truth, it only puts a woman on the road of being a martyr.

At first sight being in a constant loop of trying to please others, and breaching your own boundaries may seem nice, caring and compassionate. But in reality, it leaves you dry, empty, and unfulfilled  – without energy and desire to focus on your own needs.

This inner narrative slowly develops in the shadow of feminine traits,. It becomes the distorted reaction from a woman to satisfy her needs for belonging and acceptance. Being nice, and seeking validation is a coping mechanism to feel safe. Otherwise, there is fear of rejection and not being loved. The good girl conditioning is driving women to operate from a state that will give them a feeling of acceptance, belonging, and connection.

5 signs you are stuck in the good girl conditioning

While we are under the spell of the ‘good girl’ we continue to self-abandon, put others above our own needs. This is living your life from a one dimension of the feminine energy and while suppressing the more wild, dark, imperfect but fierce, sensual and magnetic parts of yourself.

Signs the good girl keeps you trapped:

1.You constantly try to perfect yourself in some way, believing that only through performance and achievement you are worthy of love and respect

2. Putting off your needs for the sake of pleasing others

3. Fear of voicing your opinions, needs and desires

4.Waiting for someone to give you permission to take life into your own hands

5.Being stagnant in life, feeling empty and burnout by holding onto fears and limitations – never truly trusting yourself.

For you to embrace your empowered and mature feminine self, you need to tear of the shackles of the good girl.

It starts with:

1.Raising awareness of how this conditioning has impacted your life so far.

2.Questioning everything you’ve been taught to value and about yourself.

3.Learning more about yourself and your authentic self-expression: your gifts, talents, what brings you joy, your creativity, and little quirks that make you uniquely, irresistibly you.

4.By fully accepting and loving yourself into wholeness, including all imperfections

5.Step by step learning to trust yourself and provide yourself the sense of safety and security you need.

6.Reparenting those fragile, scared parts of yourself and giving your inner girl exactly what she needs.

7.Embracing who you truly are – even the parts that feel shameful and rejected and unapologetically owning your desires – no matter how big.

We have a full spectrum of qualities, but because of this adaptive nature, we are learning what may do, feel, say or express. Whatever isn’t allowed to be said or expressed goes to the shadow. And stays there until we are ready to recognize it for what it is.

How your birth chart holds the key to unlock the shackles of the good girl conditioning

For a woman to step into her healthy, mature feminine energy, and reclaim her power, she needs to unlearn who she ‘should’ be. That's how so she becomes embodied in who she truly is. Being the good girl is a recipe for being chronically burned out, dissatisfied, and stagnant in your life and relationships.

Your birth chart can reveal deeper layers of how good girl conditioning is manifesting in your life. Being that through the father wound, or some other aspects, better understanding can unlock these patterns and initiate a healing. By remembering who you are and releasing those parts of yourself you learned to suppress and lockdown is how you access your potential.


This is the road to reclaim your most authentic and magnetizing self-expression. No more waiting. You are just one step from breaking free from all that keeps you stuck. Start today, by scheduling your astrology consultation.